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Cows, united

(article, Caroline Cummins)

Animal rights is serious business — but Cows Unite puts an entertaining spin on the matter of happy cows. Check it out for its videos, its Bovine Bill of Rights, and its amusing history of the world as seen from the cow perspective.

As the headlines from the ersatz press release announcing the formation of Cows Unite puts it,

bq. Bovines Across the Nation Unite in Call for Access to Organic Pasture, Eradication of Synthetic Hormones and a Better Day for Bovine Sisters

bq. "The Resistance, My Sisters, Begins Now," Spokescow Proclaims

And the cow that supposedly started the Great Chicago Fire? She was framed.

But the website ain't just chewing the cud; it's got a beef with the way cows are treated. Here's an abbreviated version of the Bovine Bill of Rights:

# Cows have the right to be cows.
# Cows have the right to graze.
# Cows have the right to just say no to drugs.
# Cows have the right to dignity and joy.
# Cows have the right to decent help.
# Cows have the right to clean air.

All true.